Stella's Diaries 3 - The beginning of all ends
by Lalapaya
Summary: Stella left Mystic Falls and tries to start her life new. But old problems keep catching up with her. Please R&R.
1. Life never goes without a prize

Life never goes without a prize

-Stella-

Dear Diary,

_a lot of time has passed since I felt like writing in here. I am not in Mystic Falls anymore, I am now living in New York. Changing scenes felt good and it had helped me a lot. So what's new really? My sire bond with Klaus. Well I never was able to fully break it, but it is a lot weaker now, either because I am so many miles away from him or any other reason, I don't know. I am just happy about it. Elena is still a vampire, and she loves it. And Damon too, the two of them are still together. Bonnie died during the process of bringing Jeremy back to life, which succeeded thank god. Klaus vanished shortly after all the fuss and I haven't seen him since I left home. Elena and Jeremy are now living with Damon at the boarding house and that was one of the main reasons it didn't feel like home for me anymore. _

_As for Stefan, well, I could fill pages about him in here. He returned from burying Silas, the source of all evil, so it seems, but he wasn't the same anymore. Something was different, and even though no one really could put a finger on it, we all knew something was off. Living some months with him made me think he wasn't even Stefan at all. Around that time I started to think that maybe it wasn't really him. He had changed so many habits about him, it was hard to believe he was still my brother. And his behavior towards the others was just so much more evil, especially towards Elena. He has never been taking this whole breaking up thing easy but he would never really be mean to Elena. He just loves her too much. But asking him about all this would only make him close down, so here's another reason I left and am now here, trying to learn as much as possible. I knew I wouldn't be able to find any answers in Mystic Falls, that's why my search led me here. _

_There is still one part left I hadn't talked about yet. Sage. As for him, finally, I didn't just leave and left him in the dark, but I sat together with him and talked about everything that went on in my mind and he really understood. He and I both knew that staying at home and always being torn between two guys would never be fulfilling of anyone of us. I don't know if he is still in Mystic Falls, but we had some spare contact over the years, just checking how he was. _

_This journey isn't just for my search for my brother, but it is too a journey for me, to finally get to know myself and what I really want from life. _

_Oh, and about the cure. We did find it, and Elena really managed to shove it down Katherine's throat. So yes, Katherine is human, but vanished from all radars ever since. Oh, how I would love to meet her again and talk to her..._

I was walking down the street, not even knowing if this meeting would bring me any closer to my brother or not, but at times like that I would take any straw that was handed to me. So when I turned the corner, I didn't really expect anything. That this town was crawling with supernatural beings I quickly learned as soon as I moved here. The past five years I met more vampires and witches than in my former life before. Some helpful, some trying to keep their territory, but I've tried to never really have problems with anyone.

As I reached the door, I grabbed the handle, it was too late to turn back now anyway, and instantly felt the power radiating through me. Powerful protection spells laid on that door, open to only those who were invited. I pushed the door open and stepped into the dimly lit chamber, seeing a small round table standing in front of me. A young woman in her mid-thirties was sitting there, looking at me with big eyes. She was dressed like anyone would imagine a witch, a long, wavy dress, her hair a curly mess and a lot of jewellery. She gestured me to sit down and as I did so, she said, "I was waiting for you."

I nodded once and sat down, waiting for her to continue.

"Your name is Stella. Interesting name thinking as you're a child of the night. As if your parents knew you would only wander through moon and starlight."

I inwardly rolled my eyes, not hearing this for the first time, but I didn't want to anger her so I kept quiet. I needed her.

"But you're not an average vampire. Different blood runs in your veins. You're a hybrid" she more stated than asked. As I nodded, she took my hand and closed her eyes.

"You've seen a lot of death and destruction, and you yourself caused some of it, too. So you are in search for your brother, who isn't really your brother."

I nodded, in awe that she could read that all out of my hand. But maybe the friend who made this appointment had told her about it.

"This will make it difficult, as I can't find him through your blood. But Alicia had told me about it in advance so I already did some spells."

So just as I had thought, she had know everything about me before.

"I didn't find him, but I know that some powerful spells are lying around his whereabouts, so someone doesn't want him to be found. It will take more than one witch to break those protection spells. But I will help you, because you saved Alicia just a fortnight ago. I will gather all my sisters around me and we will try and find your brother."

She looked full of hope, and I wanted to believe her. All the other hints I had found before turned out to be lose ends and was beginning to feel devastated and afraid to never find Stefan again.

She then let go of my hand signalising to me that our time was over. I slowly got up and turned around, when she spoke again.

"There was someone around here looking for you."

I turned back to her swiftly. "Who? Who wanted to find me?" I know I sounded too eager, but I was grabbing every straw.

"A man, similar to you, nevertheless more powerful than any of us can grasp."

For a short second I thought about Sage, and his heritage, he was more powerful than I ever thought possible, but with her next words, all my hope was broken like an old mirror.

"I believe his name was Klaus."

Days after my meeting with the witch I felt myself wandering around the quarter she lived. I had no intention on talking to her again, she had made it clear she would come to me if she had found something, but something had lured me here, maybe the power I had felt radiating from her chambers.

I thought about the meeting as I had just later realised how vague all her sentences had been. I wasn't even sure if Stefan was really gone or just had changed that much and she hadn't helped me with that thought at all. What did she say? 'Powerful spells lay around his whereabouts' that could mean anything.

She would gather her sisters and do some spells, she had said. Well, it didn't seem to work that well or she would have contacted me already. I shook my head and put my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket, hunching my shoulders up.

But what I really couldn't have stopped thinking about had been her last sentence. Klaus. How could it be that he found me? He was said to reside in New Orleans at the present time. Could it be that he was really here? Following me again? I couldn't, I didn't want to believe it. I had closed that topic of my past, difficult as it had been but I had.

I looked up from the dirty street and finally noticed where I was. It was deserted, the streets damp and the smell really bad. I noticed that I was close to the docks of Hudson River, even though I never really been here before.

I looked around, but seeing no one. I wasn't afraid, and it was normal for this time of night that the docks were deserted. I didn't know why I had walked here, until I felt a strangely familiar feeling inside myself. Like I needed to be here...like I belonged here. I looked around again, this time in horror. I knew that feeling, event though I hadn't felt it in over five years.

This pull...like your missing piece was near. I started to retreat my steps from where I had come and rounded the next corner, changing my walk into a jog. I rounded the next street corner, looking behind me swiftly. As I looked in front of me, I came to an aprubt halt, nearly crashing into the figure in front of me.

"You..." was all I could breathe out.


	2. It all comes together

**CHAPTER II**

It All Comes Together

"_Everything you can imagine is real."_

New York City, it was perhaps hundreds of years since I had been here. Other than other vampires I was accustomed to, I liked big cities; in fact I thrived in them. In the past few months my duties had been saving poor young Hayley and extinguishing that dirty little pest, Marcel. He was the ever thorn in my side as I arrived in New Orleans, the town I had once ruled and once again taken over.

Elijah and I had taken Marcel down from the inside; surely he knew what I was capable of, him and his talk of being a king. I was the true king, and I had proved it to him, I had him on his knees in the town square before me, begging for his life just as he had when I had found him all those years ago, but alas I was in New York now, and there was a bigger duty I had to fulfil here.

One person I knew better than myself was Stella Salvatore, the girl who had recently deserted her family in search for her lost cause of a brother, Stefan. Of course one look at him would tell you, he was not Stefan, but of course everyone loved him. According to all the sheep, he had only now come to terms with the break-up of him and Elena. Any fool would know that Stefan was Elena's one true love, and she was a fool to break it off with him in the first place. She chose Damon, because he was fun and spontaneous, and that attracted her to him, but that was not love, not in the least.

People may say that I am a bastard, and I would agree with them, but if they said I didn't know love, I would shut them down and by that I do mean eternally. I'd like to believe that Stella was my one true love, but yes of course she loved that little scum bag, Sage too but that was the least of my concern. I sincerely hoped, actually prayed that the little twerp was off performing his destiny or whatever he called the guardian thing he did. He himself said he was a master at protecting the people he loved, but I had news for him. I was the master at destroying the lives of people I hated along with those I loved, so it was no sweat for me if he ever crossed my path.

During my absent-minded thinking I hadn't realised what the strokes upon the canvas made by my paintbrush had begun to resemble. The long and languid black strokes of paint had begun to transform into something beautiful, none other than the woman of my dreams, Stella. I worked delicately on the soul of the woman before me, her eyes. It was a colour in-between moss green and forest green, but I knew it had to be the perfect hue, as my work was nothing shy of perfection.

After my eyes had begun to cross from the details of the painting, I had decided it was time for a walk around the city of New York, and besides I was hungry. I was sure there would be plenty for me to snack on in a place like this. I turned the corner into the main street, plenty of people walking around, hailing for taxis. My eyes roamed the streets, in search of a suitable woman, that's when my eyes caught sight of a woman sporting light-brown hair, and there was a hitch in my breathing as I pondered whether it was Stella or not.

I knew thanks to my many sources that New York was the very city Stella would be, and that was the exact reason why I was here in the first place, besides my need to be in a big city in which I thrived beyond compare. Stella was a typical Virginian woman, just like her brothers who longed to stay in small towns. They always left their hometown when they felt the need to expand their wings, but no matter what they always returned.

If you took Damon and Stefan for example, that was the exact thing they had done for about two centuries, and I had no doubt Stella would do the same, but I also knew that now she was here I would use that to my advantage and gain her trust once again as I had planned to do.

And suddenly the feeling was there, I felt the pull, the long and I knew Stella was close by. As I turned on the spot, she nearly crashed into me.

"You" she breathed breathlessly as if she had just run a marathon. "What are you doing here?" regaining her composure quickly. She had known the pulling feeling but she had hoped it would've been false. "I thought you're in New Orleans."

"Stella, fancy meeting you here. I was in New Orleans, but sadly my work there is done. I'm onto bigger and better things now, love."

Taking a step back she narrowed her eyes. "Bigger and better things? And what would that be?"

I laughed in amusement as Stella took a step back, her eyes wide in what seemed to be shock. "Oh you know, this is New York. The ambience, the food, and you of course."

"I knew you were looking for me. A witch told me already" she crossed her arms but stayed where she was. "What do you want? It's been a long time, Klaus."

"So you do keep tabs on me then?" I smiled and took a step towards her. "Years can pass, but memories never fade."

At his words flashes of memories seem to pass before her eyes, memories of good times with Klaus, of them living together, kissing, having fun. She realised what was happening. Pushing him out of her mind she growled but swayed as she realised how exceptionally strong he was. As if she had forgotten it. "Stop invading my mind."

I grinned, flashing Stella my most brilliant smile. "Oh come on, love. You're like an open book," I said and placed a firm yet gentle hand upon Stella's shoulder.

She violently started shaking under his touch even though she herself didn't know if it was out of anger, fear or because of the surges of power he was sending out. As it got more difficult to resist for her, she realised she hadn't fed today. "Stop it Klaus" it was surprising even for her that her voice sounded that weak.

"Stella... fine," I said removing my hand from her shoulder and sighing dramatically. "Well atleast tell me where you're living so I may walk you home."

She shook herself one last time like a cat after being held against her will and looked into his eyes, knowing her gaze was strong enough to hold his. "You wish. As if I would ever make the mistake of letting you into my life again."

"You are sorely mistaken if you think I'm out of your life," I grinned and placed my hand at her lower back, leading her up the street. "I'm what people like to call a bad rash, I never go away, sweetheart."

Stella shrugged away from his touch but continued to walk. She felt just like a little kid again who had to be looked out for. And she hated it. She decided for the direct attack. "Are you already tired of playing little family? Is it that why you left New Orleans?"

"Family? I've been playing family for over a thousand years, love. Wouldn't you agree that I'd be tired by now?" I asked, turning my head to glance over Stella's beauty.

"I meant with your new sweetheart, Hayley. And the little bastard she gifted you with" she said with a sweet, innocent smile. He was not the only one having informations.

Raising an eyebrow at Stella, I smiled. "She was never my sweetheart, it was just one night of fun. Why are you so interested? Jealous?" I asked as I took her hand in mine. "I can give you what you want."

For a moment she was speechless, looking into his eyes. Images of her, a little girl sitting on her lap, laughing delicately up at her flashed though her mind. She knew in an instant that this time the pictures were not coming from Klaus. She shook her head once and pulled her hand away. "No. I am beyond the point of falling for your tricks, again."

I kept quiet, knowing what Stella was trying to do. She was trying to push me away, and perhaps she would accomplish that, but she had to accept one thing. I always got what I wanted, and I was in no way done with her. "Stella, I don't want to fight with you. Let me take you for a drink, as a peace offering."

Stella bit her lip. This was always how it started. With an innocent peace offering. Being away for so many years hadn't changed a thing between them. The sire bond was still present, and she knew he felt it too. She wanted to shake her head, but decided against it. At least he wouldn't know where she lived. "One drink."

"Thats my girl," I smiled and pulled her with me down the street to the bar I often visited when I was in town. "You'll love this place."

A strange feeling crept through her all of a sudden, like a bolt of energy, but it was a good feeling, familiar. She let him pull her towards the doors of the bar, it didn't really look any different than the other places in New York.

"We're in New York, don't tell me you're going to drink Bourbon," I said as I pulled a bar stool out for Stella to sit on.

"Surprise me" she smiled deliberately and sat down, turning to face the barman.

I grinned and sat down beside her, making sure my knee touched hers as I sat down. "Two martini's, Mr bartender."

She shortly glanced down at their touching knees and then up again. At that moment their drinks arrived and she was distracted. "Interesting choice. I feel like back in the twenties."

"You do have a thing for all things old, don't you?" I winked and took a small sip from the glass before me.

"Seems like it" she said and took a sip herself, turning on her bar stool to scan the bar and so their knees wouldn't touch anymore.

Watching Stella, I leaned forward slightly, moving a strand of her light brown her out of her visage, whispering softly. "A penny for your thoughts?"

Hooked into his intent gaze, she nearly melted under his touch. After all the time he was still drop-dead gorgeous and hard to look away. His crystal blue eyes were shimmering with amusement as he saw her reaction to his touch. But she wasn't planning on letting him win so easily. So she whispered huskily back, "I still think you're up to something else."

"Dont you trust me, Stella?" I pulled back and looked into her deep and intense green eyes. "I'm here to escape my life and family, just like you are."

"Oh I made the mistake of trusting you often enough. I am careful around you, Klaus." She smiled sweetly up at him, seeing his eyes darken just for the split of second.

"I know you better than you know yourself, sweetheart. What about a little fun? I can see you're in need of it."

"Depends on what kind of fun we're talking about here" she looked at him, a small smile playing on the corner of her lips. She hadn't had a carefree time for a long time indeed.

I flashed Stella a playful smile, I turned to the bartender once more. "A few shots if you will, mate."

"So this kind of fun" she smiled and clinked one of the glasses with his as the barkeeper lined the glasses in front of them. As she downed the shot a familiar nice feeling started to stretch in her gut. It was nice having carefree fun for once, even if it was with Klaus.

"This kind of fun," I repeated with a wry smiled and tossed the shot down, the liquor easing down my throat with grace. "Mm I needed that."

"I have to admit, this is kind of fun. Even with you" she added as she grabbed another shot and looked at him.

"See I told you. You didn't know what you were missing when you ran away from me, but don't fret, love just enjoy," I winked and downed another shot.

"I didn't run away from you" she snapped, before realising she was justifying herself. "I had something to do here."

"Sure and what is that exactly? Save Stefan?" I asked as I turned my head to the side to grin at Stella.

"Yes. Saving Stefan is my main goal" she said a little sore before excusing herself for the bathroom. 


	3. How to find your place in this world

How to find your place on this world

-Sage-

I knew I was being stupid. I knew this was all one huge mistake. Nevertheless I'm here. How could that have happened? Never before did anyone influence my consciousness that easily, at least not since I knew what I really was. Pacing up and down in front of the tall brick building, I earned myself some stares and the occasional shove from by-passers who I stopped from walking straight ahead. I sighed as my thoughts travelled back to when I had last met her in flesh and blood.

_"You do know that it hurts me as much as it hurts you, right? It's not the easiest decision I had to make." She was looking at me, her forest green eyes shining with honesty, and I knew I could believe her. Something else was in that gaze of hers, a sadness so deep, I knew she was telling me the whole truth and that it was hurting her to leave me behind. As she cast her eyes down, fiddling with the cup of coffee in front of her, I took her hand in mine, causing her to look up at me again. I smiled reassuringly at her even though it was killing me only thinking of living on without her. But she was just like that. No place could keep her forever, and in this town she surely would never be happy or settled. _

_"I understand it. I don't like it, but it is your decision after all and I won't stand in your way, you know that. I will always be here for you, whenever you need me."_

_I thought I had seen tears glittering in her eyes before she leaned forward and kissed me, her lips light as feathers, barely noticeable for a normal human being. But I did feel it, and I also felt the soft wetness of her eyelashes on my cheeks, and the sweetness of her lips on mine. I wished this moment would never end, and that I could hold her, and keep her in my arms forever._

_But as quickly as the kiss had began, it was ended as she pulled back, and I got one last glimpse of her wavy brown hair before she turned around and was gone, leaving me bewildered and confused_.

I ran a hand through my wavy hair, and let out another sigh. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, coming here and practically falling all over her again. We did have some spare contact over the years, but it was only ever to check each others well being.

And now here I was, standing in front of her house, not even having the guts to go inside.

I quietly scolded myself for being so stupid. I exactly knew what was going on here and it was shaming that I was afraid of embracing my fate.

The last carefree time I had spent with Stella I had told her about me being a guardian and she had taken it quite well. Considering what crazy things she had had to endure during her life, it was not surprising she had believed me on the spot.

But one thing I hadn't told her, because I couldn't. And I wasn't sure if I could now. How are you supposed to tell someone that you literally have to spend their eternity by their side, even if they didn't want it? I wasn't a normal guardian like the ones in the other dimension. And I wasn't an earthly guardian like Elena had supposed to be before she got turned into a vampire.

But I was a different kind, a real guardian, sentenced to take care of supernatural people, and special supernatural people. And in this lifetime it was Stella. Falling in love with her had done nothing good, I wasn't supposed to. But being a vampire _and_ a guardian somehow had altered my feelings and I was capable of love, and of being loved. So how on earth should I tell her that I was supposed to guide her, look out for her and care for her for all her time on this earth, when she tried to start a new life, and that maybe completely without me?

I took a deep, unnecessary breath and twisted the lapis lazuli ring on my finger, which was pretty much useless since I had embraced my powers as a guardian, but I wore it nevertheless. It was kind of soothing to keep some memory of my old life. I braced myself and took the last step up to the big door, and rang her bell.

After what felt like an eternity I let out the breath I had been subconsciously holding. No one was answering. I frowned and tried the doorknob, but it was locked. I rapped on the door but still, no answer was coming from the other side. Only then did I realise that the sun had already set. She must have gone out then.

I sighed again as I descended the stairs, the hands in the pockets of my jeans. I had been ready to tell her everything and now she wasn't there. What if I never found the guts again to tell her the whole truth? I silently shook my head, kicking an old newspaper in front of my feet. I had to tell her, no matter what. The Old Guardians had made it very clear that my subject of guard has to know I am here, mainly for them to get the guidance they needed. But Stella had never needed anyone to tell her what to do. She had always known how to go forward and how to solve problems all on her own. And since I couldn't even help her breaking a simple sire bond, how much good of a guardian was I anyway?

I should have been able to help her this one time when she had needed me. But I failed. I had distracted her, for a time, and that had been the time when I had realised that she was the subject of my guardian place on earth but I couldn't help her through. And I did understand it that she had needed to get away then, start fresh and in a city where no one knew her story. Where no one knew Klaus.

And yet here I was, looking for her, destroying her peace and freedom yet again, only to fulfill my selfish needs of being near her. Being away from your charge was like missing a piece of your soul. I had heard from guardians who could communicate with their proteges over emotions, which are very similar to thoughts really. Guardians are supposed to sense emotions, especially of those they were in charge of, and in seldom cases it was possible that it works the other way around as well. I had never experienced it with Stella but yet, I had never even tried to properly be her guardian.

When I looked up I saw that I was in a more deserted part of the town, I hadn't realised where my feet had been guiding me. When I was about to turn around and find myself a bar or a place to crash for the night, it hit me like a driving bus. Fear, and anger, I could see it almost as clear as a red thread in front of my eyes. But beyond these emotions was stricken something else, giving the red hot emotions a golden flicker. Love, and longing. And immediately I recognised the patterns of these emotions. It must be finally one of my guardian moments then. _Stella._

I followed the feeling until it brought me in front of an old-fashioned bar, not looking peculiarly interesting. I stepped in, my worst nightmare coming true. She was sitting at the bar with no other than Klaus.

I saw my chance and stopped Stella as she was getting up where I was sure Klaus couldn't see us.  
"Stella" I said softly, seeing her eyes widen.

"Sage" she replied hoarsly, "what are you doing here?" Two old acquaintances in one night was too much.

"I just want to warn you. Please stay away from Klaus, remember what he did last time!"

"Sage, stop right there" she said and looked at him. "You just show up at New York like nothing happened and want to lecture me? Just don't."

I wanted to say something but from the corner of my eyes I could see a figure approach us and I felt myself stiffen. He had heard our conversation.

Klaus had tapped his fingertips upon the bar top, waiting for Stella but as he looked around the bar, his eyes settling on the back of a man standing before Stella. He knew exactly who it was, the blood in his veins boiling as he made his way over to us, his fists shaking as he walked. "Still haven't had enough have you, Sage?"

I turned around to face the blond man in front of me. "Still trying to catch women you can't have, Klaus?" Glaring at him, he nevertheless smirked. But I wasn't afraid of Klaus anymore.

"Stop it, both of you" Stella tried to intervene, but knowing already it would be no use anyway.

"Leave this to me, Stella. I'll deal with this little fairy and have his wings clipped in no time," Klaus said as he took a step towards me, tilting his head to the side at me, his nostrils flaring. "If I were you, mate I would think twice about getting in my way."

"I wouldn't even think once to have anything to do with you, but when it comes to Stella, you can't stop me from trying to save her from your claws." I stepped closer myself and glared at Klaus. He could say what he want, it was my duty to look out for Stella.

"She doesn't need you to save her, she's not a damsel in distress. In my opinion she's more than capable of looking after herself. Why don't you go ahead and ask her?" Klaus said, gesturing to Stella with his hand.

Stella frowned. "What is he talking about, Sage?" She asked sharply. They were talking over her head again and she didn't like it one bit.

I sighed and turned my attention to Stella completely. "I didn't want you to know this way, but I told you about being a guardian you know that, right? And every guardian has a purpose on being on earth. And mine is guarding you."

Stella gaped at him. "You're right, that's not how I would've liked to know."

"Right now you can go on your merry way, Sagey boy," Klaus faked a smile as he tightened his fist around my collar, trying to lead me towards the door.

I put all my strength into my touch and pushed Klaus away. "Don't you dare laying your filthy hands on me me again." I growled before looking at Stella pleadingly. "Come with me, Stella, let me explain."

Stella looked at me, not knowing what to say. It was too much right now.

"Oh Jesus Christ you really are pathetic," Klaus growled at me before pushing me over a few tables and returned to Stella, his eyes locking with hers, as he caressed her cheek. "Forget him love, he doesn't exist but I do and everything with be perfect," Klaus whispered, putting emphasis on his last word to her.

Stella saw his pupils dilating and a warm feeling spread in her body, making everything seem easy and right.

I quickly stumbled to my feet, crying out, "No!" I skidded to a halt in front of Stella looking into her eyes. "Stella, please, tell me you didn't hear anything he just said right now."

Stella looked at me, puzzled. "I am sorry, do I know you?" She frowned at me then looked at Klaus for explanation.

Klaus leaned into Stella, a warm smile crossing his features and whispered close to her ear. "Don't mind him, love I think he's on drugs."

Stella smiled back, grabbing his hand. "Then let's get out of here."

I looked helplessly after them, my heart breaking. "How can you be happy now, Klaus? This is all a lie now you know she doesn't love you for real!" I called after them, but I knew it was a fruitless attempt.

The two of them left, leaving me standing. But I wouldn't give up just so easy. I was determined to get back Stella. Or at least get her memories back.


	4. Love is based on truth

Love is based on truth

-Damon-

Looking into those eyes made it clear for me. That was it. I was home, finally. After being on the run and on the search for what - a hundred and seventy years maybe - I finally felt like I did find my place. It was a feeling I only experienced once before. And it was a long time ago. Memories seem to be so far away, as if I couldn't really grasp them. Maybe it was because I had still been human that time, maybe because it just found my purpose right now. I was stroking her hair, her shiny brown mane falling softly through my fingers, I smiled. I saw her shiny brown coloured eyes fluttering close, she was relaxing under my touch. I felt her relaxing under my touch, still, I couldn't dare shifting my weight. She was breathing peacefully, but I continued to stroke her soft hair, it had a soothing feeling for me too. It has been a few years now but I still couldn't believe my luck. Never in my life, living or dead, did something beautiful and perfect like her happen to me, at least not without a price. Meeting Katherine he cost my life. Meeting Elena had cost my conscious and being with her had changed me. I couldn't say it was negative, but ever since we came together, I was changing more and more. My need to kill began to grow smaller. She is a vampire, and I love her in this careless way, but still, she had changed me. When did I ever think I would've stopped killing just for a girl? But she wasn't just any girl. She was _it _the love of my life.

Still, there might be a price. Stefan. All my undead life I wanted to make his a living hell, for bringing me into this situation. I have to admit though, as I found out his reasons, that he just didn't want to be _alone _on this journey, I started to feel different about him. And as soon as I had found out that Katherine had never loved me the way I had loved her, my feelings for him as my brother had started to become more and more nice again. Falling in love with the same woman as him, _again, _had made it very difficult to be like civilised people, but loving Elena had changed everything. She had made me see what I loved about my brother even though I had to be second in line again. It was a feeling I couldn't really describe right now...

But when Elena was turned into a vampire, he had changed too. He didn't like it, he had always wanted to preserve her humanity. Only I could see that this was who she was born to be. They broke up, but Stefan never really left her side, he kept looking out for her. Only when she did come running to me, when we knew it wasn't the sire bond anymore, he did change a lot more. He started to shut us out. He was away most of the time, not to say I wasn't enjoying having time with Elena to my own, but I also did feel _sorry _for my little brother. I had stolen his girl, and wasn't keen on giving her back. But he kept retreating from us and I knew I gave his strange behaviour too little thought. I assumed he would go back to his brooding self, but it was different this time. Because he stopped talking to me, he cut all contact and left the boarding house to who knew where. He stayed in Mystic Falls alright, but I didn't know where and why.

That was when the killing started. I at once assumed Stefan got back to being a ripper over the grief of losing Elena, but when I met up with him, he was his sober, brooding self, no sign of being over the edge with human blood. And then I started wondering...what happened to him? Where was Stefan, my real brother, that would never hurt the girl he really loves by totally ignoring her. Where did he go? Only when he kept throwing comments at me whenever we met up that we're so totally un-Stefan like, I started to doubt him. He wasn't really Stefan who I watched grow up, who I had been the role model to all those years...that was when I started looking for my real brother. I knew for sure he was out there somewhere, an intruder had taken his place here in Mystic Falls.

Elena stirred beneath my touch that had gotten stronger and less stroking since my thoughts ad wandered to Stefan. "Damon" she murmured under her breath, still asleep. I relaxed and slid down on the bed, closing my eyes. Stefan could wait until the morning.

Drifting off to sleep, my consciousness made me see other things. _Stella, _who I deliberately cut out of my waken thoughts ever since she left us...

_I was carrying her half dead body through the parlor of the boarding house, placing her down on the couch. Sage tried to reach for hand but I hissed at him and remained at her side, holding both her hands. Her breathing was shallow and I was afraid. Afraid to lose after all those years I thought she was dead. I bit into my wrist, putting it to her mouth, knowing it would heal her. I didn't care that sage and Stefan were watching this imitate scene, it was my sister on the brick of death after all. _

_She regained consciousness very slowly after but I remained there, not letting go of her. When she opened her eyes, her gaze fell shortly onto me. But then it switched to Sage, and I saw all the feelings in it, love, longing, thankfulness and forgiving in it, it hurt that it didn't was directed to my eyes. I wanted to draw away, but I couldn't, I had to watch the two of them exchanging glances that should have been mine with my sister, I had just saved her life. But I couldn't look away, I had to watch, and feel my heart breaking all over again..._


End file.
